Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
