all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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