I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
