Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
