AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
