Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
