I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
