is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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