Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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