K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
