Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
