ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
