Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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