I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Terrible idea I love it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
