carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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