5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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