just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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