That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I smell like Dick and happiness
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
