Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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