Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
