You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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