Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
