I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
