Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
