why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
