You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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