Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
