The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
