Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just want nice things and good sex
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
