I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
