There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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