i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
