I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Let's paint friendship bongs
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
