he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
