Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
