Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
