You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
