so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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