I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
