Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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