If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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