That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Randomize
