I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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