Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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