is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
