can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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