i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
