Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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