We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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