K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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